Life's Scary, Man

by Old Sol

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released November 20, 2017

Written and performed by Old Sol
Lyrics by Ilan Haskel
Recorded and engineered by Geoff Siuciak
Mixed and mastered By John Terry
Produced by John Terry and Geoff Siuciak


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Old Sol Chicago, Illinois



Ilan Haskel - guitar, vocals
Tom Berard - violin, guitar
Evan Hock - bass
Geoff Siuciak - drums, percussion

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Track Name: Life's Scary, Man
what I thought was love
turned out to be heartburn
and my acid reflux stopped her
from making out with me at a drive thru movie
and on the way back down the highway
i felt my emotions dying one by one
first came fear and then came love

so i'll never put myself out there again
and i'll keep all of my lovers just as friends

so let me be honest
let me forgive her
let me forget about my dad
let me direct it to something useful
let me pretend i have a plan
let me just pick a path and stick to it
like it's all that i have
let me forget how to regret
and be my own man

so i put myself out there again
'cause i'm a fucking liar
but only to myself i'd like to think
and all my lovers went and left me
'cause they claimed that i'm a liar
just because i told them i loved them
well, man, you got me there

but i swear to god i'd never hurt nobody
the only body i could hurt is the one i own
Track Name: Getting Comfortable
tiptoe around, you said
tiptoe around my worst days
figure me out, you said
figure me out in the worst way

and i told you how
yeah, i told you how i'd change
but it's too late now
you've already left the frame

walk me through hell
it'd be nice to rebel in my own space
take me to church
I need to confirm that i have faith

and i notice well
yeah, i notice everything
so i knew it well
when you said what you said to me

take me by the hand and show me what compassion is
i've been in my head just trying to extract my sin
and i don't wanna be alone ever again
just please don't leave my side
just please don't leave my side again
Track Name: Stockholm
so here i am, again
a bouquet of plastic roses in my hand
a blue collar war veteran
and i'm seeing flashes of light
firing at me from piercing pale blue eyes
like bullets from colt-45s

and last summer you staged a drive-by
from the backseat of my car
and you took my dog for ransom,
made him love you
and if love is just a stockholm syndrome,
i'm a captive now
so make sure to lock the door on your way out

swallow the key
make sure there's no way for me to leave
starve me of affection
feed me once or twice a week
why would i sleep?
there's no need for dreaming
you are right outside my door
hell, there ain't much left to ask for

and i'm bleeding in your basement
as the walls are closing in
what's it matter if i breathe
when you're my only oxygen
and you paint with such a fine-tipped brush
i jerk my head, i heard the toilet flush

the door opens a crack
there is light in my life
but i've grown used to the black
and as you walk down those steps
paved in cold concrete
bathed in light, bathed in light

i book it towards the door
as urgent as a holy war
you fake right, i go left
we start to fight, it's self-defense
i feel alive again
'cause all my name was spent inside that room
no room to breathe
i would've stabbed myself with my keys

but at least it had a happy ending
what the fuck does that mean, anyway?
at least it had a happy ending
Track Name: Swisher Sweetheart
i laughed more than i cried today for the first time in a week
and i finally mustered up the strength to sleep without a sheet
until you wake me in the morning
with a plan for our whole day
and i'm okay

i ran more than i walked today for the first time in a month
guess it's time for me to stand up, swallow all my pills at once
and when you look me in the eye, i'll say, hey dad,
i'm not the person i once was

my life was just a motocross event
where all the bikes and drivers end up dead
then you showed up,
a night gown knit from seatbelts
caught my heart inside your palm
and i can't wait till we're both gone

last night i raced the interstate, and the interstate, it won
'cause my thoughts might have some speed
but this old minivan's got none
and as i floor it through the floodlights, my anxiety's undone
i see the sun

so i'll roll one in a parking lot and try to write some song
i'll dream about the day when all my nights aren't so damn long
and these swisher sweets hold secrets than i haven't told my mom
they'll come along

i'll spend my whole life trying to get clean
i'll roll all of my blunts in gasoline
and i'll spark that fucker up until i burn my whole life down
and i hope that one day i'll see you around
Track Name: Inaction Is Action
i left my head
stuck, between your regrets
and i can't get out- snap out of it
i tell myself that i'll cut it out
i'll cut the cord
it's tough to wait it out
a second more
i'm running out of things to tell myself
or anybody else

forget it
i'm better off without you
no, it's not true, i'm dumb without you
i don't know what to do
i guess i'll:
sit in my room
think about you
drink until two
turn shades of blue
wake up at three with no one to see
my mornings are not what they used to be

you wanted more than i could ever offer
i wasn't good enough
i wasn't tall enough to see past it
if i'd known for sure this never would've happened
such an oversight
out of sight, out of mind
out of time

leave me stranded in the moment
with my hands taped to my mouth
lock the chains across my torso
to a car that's going southbound
i don't wanna go now
leave me by the road
walk to somewhere cold
break down
honey, won't you shake me down

i wanted more
but that never mattered
torn and tattered, windows shattered
it's a fact i can't ignore
i shut my door for the first time since i met you
it upset you
Track Name: Seabound
we can live like my grandfather did
leave our bones in the ocean, far from the cement
or at least we can fight for a bit
let our silence make waves as we stand with the dead
i'll crack every mirror i'll see
and i'll pray that the bad luck will finally take me
this black cat bit back into me
he'll have eight lives by sunrise, i swear that he'll bleed
'cause i'll die when i die
but i won't die a pussy.

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